I'm sure almost everyone who reads this blog comes from my twitter, and if you're following my twitter you should have seen the attendance stamp event and my tweets about how I've maxed out the event count (except for that one Simply K-pop that I was there for but could not get a stamp due to me being 'staff')... well initially it was 21 stamps = 1 letter from an A-JAX member, top collector gets another special gift, the max was 16 (so I had 15) as in the end they didn't have so many broadcasts - well DSP stupidly only gave us a stamp a day no matter if we also had post-recording for the next week or double-recordings for 2 episodes worth, I know some groups get a stamp EACH for pre-recording and actual recording both on the same day... -  but it changed, and the new system was that from all those with more than 10 stamps collected, they would select a few for 'something special' - we had absolutely no idea what that entailed, and I was under the impression that the DSP fan manager hate us foreigners' collective guts so there is no way I would get selected, so imagine my shock when I received a call on Christmas Eve (coincidentally, when I was out posting signed A-JAX 2MYX CDs to my Japanese friends) from the fan/marketing manager to tell me to turn up at Nonhyeon dal.komm coffee at 6pm on Boxing Day because I was selected....  *stunned* I know about 8-10 of us got 14 stamps (because that was the number of us that got called up to get polaroids of the members), so there are definitely more than that number with >=10 stamps, I figured if I was called up, then it should be an enmasse event of 15-20 fans....? Which was good enough, the previous dal.komm event got pretty chaotic and I never even got a sip of coffee, much less talk to the members, so I genuinely thought they were just gonna make coffee for us once again...

I was running late in a last-minute attempt to prepare a gift for Jaehyung (it was a last-minute belated Christmas gift, I gave him some repackaged pineapple tarts from Singapore and a photocard), so I took a cab down (15USD, oops) as I didn't wanna miss a thing (there was a traffic jam and my heart nearly stopped) and when I got there at 6.05pm and flew up the steps expecting to see the members and a small crowd, I went O_o upon finding a perfectly normal and calm-looking cafe. Spinning around widely, I suddenly heard my name being called - it was one of my A-Light friends - taotao - and at her table were dspboyz_S eonnie, Spring_echo, and another korean Yunyoung fan that I often see but haven't had a chance to chat with so far. For a moment I thought I got the wrong timing and it's ended (I have difficulty telling 5 'daseot' and 6 'yeoseot' apart in my head) but they laughed and assured me it's not even started yet, though the DSP staff are there already.

So we waited for a bit, and I got a call from the fan manager telling us to go downstairs - we met her on the 1st floor and she led us down to the basement where there was the "dal.komm Academy"!! I thought "wow, so they're back here to learn coffee-making again and we get to watch or join them!?" ... but then we were led into what looked like a classroom or meeting room - and inside waiting was A-JAX sitting in a row, at a long table. *gapes* And we were supposed to sit right opposite them - the 5 of us nearly fainted, we were panicking and super-nervous. I didn't even dare to look directly at Jaehyung much, I just alternatively stared at the ceiling or at taotao beside me when taking a seat. Hyeong Kon quipped "Oh, this feels like a meeting!" and that made me burst into giggles. Jaehyung immediately glanced my way, which I saw as my eyes involunteerily flew to him when I heard that comment - and immediately I felt myself turning even redder, so I just busied myself struggling with my chair and looking down at my bag... *head hits desk*

Sitting Arrangement:

HK-JH-YY-SJ-SY-HJ
----------(table)----------
SE-DS-ME-   TT-??    

(We just went in randomly in a line and sat down, didn't dare to swap seats to get closer to our bias as it seems rude...)

The fan manager then went out and left us alone to fend for ourselves. O_O well it's good as there's some things I really don't feel comfortable saying in front of her.. but then there's all the other members and fans also so... ^^;;  And oh I forgot to state earlier, there were light snacks (sandwiches, hot dogs etc) and coffee on the table, the boys started distributing the coffee - by default we fans all got expresso as they didn't know what to order for us, Jaehyung took mocha latte I noticed, Seungyeop was passing out straws, I took 3 from him and passed them out, then somehow had 1 extra, noticed Jaehyung didn't have one, and passed it to him, skipping over Yunyoung who was right in front of me and didn't have one either! Oops. I immediately meekly told him sorry but I'm not sure if he heard/noticed it in the chaos. The boys told us to eat too, but I was still freaking out, and my face was like this ><,  I murmured to myself/taotao in korean "SO AWKWARD..... I'm so nervous, how to eat in this situation...???" and I'm not sure if they heard... *dies of embarassment*

While the 5 of us were still collectively freaking out, Hyeong Kon started the ball rolling by asking us to introduce ourselves and say from when we started being fans of our respective bias... I just said that I saw "One 4 U" being performed live at Show Champion, really liked it, went for Inkigayo pre-recording, sat right behind the center camera and became Jaehyung's fan immediately... ^^;; Sounded kinda stupid but I can't describe how his eyes seemed to shoot out laser beams and he sang so emotionally when seemingly staring right at me that he made my heart race, right? So yeah.. and oh before I started I pre-faced with "Erm my korean is not that good so please bear with me" and Seungyeop said "You can speak English!" very helpfully... lol. But I know they'll be the ones stuggling to understand if I spoke in English, so never mind I tried my best to use Korean.

Hyeong Kon then said that this event is for us who came super frequently... (I almost quipped up and said 'Hey, I came for 100% of the studio broadcasts!) and asked where we all lived. The unknown Korean girl said she lived in Incheon, we were all like "wow, that's far! ><'' and taotao said Konkuk university area - the discussion then stirred a bit off-course as the boys were impressed as they thought she is studying at Konkuk University, she explained no, she studied elsewhere, Hyeong Kon was saying he wanted to study at Konkuk too, eonnie quipped up and said she graduated from there, and added that I'm a student there too, and the boys gaped at me, I hurriedly added that I'm just enrolled in the language institution there, I'm not a full-undergraduate student - and I explained that I live at HONGIK university but study(or rather, studied) at Konkuk University. (Jaehyung repeated loudly - HONGIK? - hey, I wrote you that in a letter before!)

After that, I kinda messed up the order of what we talked about... they asked us if we have any questions, eonnie literally wiped out a stack of placards and started running down the list... I was about to burst out laughing, but it was a good ice-breaker indeed. Of course, I got lost at some parts (urgh, why didn't I study harder!?) but I think I understood more than 50% of it? Just forgotten the questions now... hmm... let me try to recall...  and oh yes, all the time, I was getting sorta distracted by Jaehyung who was just sawing at the sandwiches in front of him with a couple of plastic forks... there wasn't any knifes... so... he had to work very hard at it.... I kept sneaking glances at him diagonally, a few times he looked up and caught me... and I immediately blushed and looked away again... then... the BOMB came.... he skewered a portion of the sandwich with the fork, held it up to me, I thought he was offering the entire thing to me so I stretched out a hand to take the fork handle, then realised that he doesn't seem to be handing it over and the angle he was holding it out at was kinda strange... and just blurted out "I'm supposed to eat it directly!?" and everyone burst out laughing and wolf-whistling.... so keeping my eyes on the food, I just stretched up, opened my mouth and took the sandwich in. It was quite a big portion so I had to struggle to get it all in, I kinda lifted my face up, faced the ceiling, clapped a hand over my mouth and immediately hide my puffed cheeks... OH MY GOD I WAS SO EMBARASSED I COULD NOT EVEN LOOK AT HIM IN THE EYE FOR A GOOD ONE MINUTE AFTER THAT. I only caught a glimpse of his laughing face as he looked at my reaction (and what was probably my fire-engine red face) and went "my fanservice is good, right?" Oh my god he's definitely teasing me for scolding/complaining to him for lessening his fanservice towards me recently!! X_x After that I so regretted not looking at him in the eye as I took it (hey, how many chances do you get to flirt like that with your idol!?), but didn't dare to ask for a 2nd helping... ^^;;

I think it was about this time... suddenly they mentioned Sungmin was sick so he's absent... or was it one of us who first brought it up...... in any case me and taotao totally died as we hadn't realised earlier that a member was missing.... OH MY GOD..... *SUPER EMBARASSED* ... we were too distracted having our own bias sitting half a metre away and talking to us I guess... spring_echo later on also said she first counted 6 when she went in and realised something was wrong then she got distracted and it didn't register that Sungmin was the one missing too....

And the questions... oh yes I remember eonnie asked if they would mind dating openly... They said of course... and immediately asked what we fans think... I think we all generally told them we're ok if they did... Yunyoung was shocked... I told him that though us fans might get a bit jealous, as long as they're happy, it's more important... but after thinking about it, me and dsp eonnie were like... wait... we don't really wanna know, keep it low-keyed if possible... but we won't demand that you hide it... coz it's hard to date while hiding all the time and ok, so if you get caught and it comes out we'll be a bit sad but we'll keep on supporting you... well I added on that it's not a problem for the other members as they're still pretty young but for the 2 hyungs it's about the age where they should date anyway... but Jaehyung resolutely said he won't openly date... ^^;; (P.S. I was not sure of the question at first and asked taotao to translate for me, I spoke to her in chinese, and Seungjin was staring at the two of us sprouting foreign languages... haha. I don't think he was previously aware that I speak Chinese too...?)

Hmm... and I don't know how the discussion turned to it, but the boys told us that they don't have personal handphones yet... O_o Up till now they have been using DSP staff phones/computers to update twitter and access the fancafes... or their own iPads...!! ><'' I am really shocked... I know SM and Cube trainees don't have... but our boys have debuted for half a year already... Hyeong Kon said he really wanted a phone! I directly asked Jaehyung, "So how do you contact your old friends.... like back from when you were in school...?" and he's like "I don't...", looking kinda wistful... and I then asked "Your home is in Seoul right? So do you get to go back often?" and he's like "Nop, not at all...only very occasionally when we get days off..." and I was like ><''.  I really didn't know that a K-pop artiste have to make this much sacrifices... wait I did hear of it from SHINee interviews previously but... it really didn't strike me so strongly, until now that Jaehyung told me directly with that look in his eyes... I didn't know what to say to him... wanted to console him and ask further why he chose to walk down this road, does he regret anything, but... my korean being so bad... there was nothing I can do except stare at him helplessly and tell him "You've had it difficult..."... for a moment there I had a urge to hug him/pat his hand and cry... of course, I'm assuming that like most people I know, he'll miss his family and friends... (I say that because I'm a weirdo who absolutely does not miss home despite being away from home for nearly a year - probably because I've been shut-up in it for the first 20+++ years of my life and have really had enough and it's already skewered my mentality). And then, I broke the moment by quipping up "oh that's why in that Japanese Halloween program you said that you're always lonely!" - it took me a while to explain that to him, so by the time I got the point across we were smiling/grinning about it and the sad moment was past.

I also remembered airports coming up in the discussion... Hyeong Kon said that of course there must be fans at the airport... they are more than happy to see fans going to send them off and welcome them at the airport... so I confirmed that they don't mind having their photos taken there... Jaehyung heard my question and said yup, taking photos at airport is good... eonnie and I breathed a sign of relief because the managers sometimes tells us to not take photos, and we brought it up, Hyeong Kon said it's policy or something but never mind that, the boys like it... they just don't like having photos secretly taken of them in their 'off' time... oh eonnie dug out a cellphone photo she grabbed of them at Karasia before they debuted.... they were so shocked to see it... and we were all exclaiming and laughing over it... Seungjin was caught totally unaware and his hair... hehehe. My Jaehyung was immaculate as always.

Oh and eonnie asked if they have committed any mistakes on stage... they said plenty... Seungjin did it the most... and Seungjin confessed that there was a live performance (ie. not pre-recorded) that he tripped over Jaehyung's leg... (I was silently laughing... why Jaehyung's.... technically you two are the smallest and hence legs shortest so why are you tripping each other... kekeke.)... and of course, there are little things like how Seungjin danced into the his hyung's spots instead a lot during reherasal etc... (yes, Jaehyung, don't just laugh at your maknae, I will forever remember you going to the wrong spot at M-Countdown comeback Hot Game pre-recording and Seongnam Girls' High Wing Car... hehe. I bet I'm one of the very few, maybe only one, who spotted both times...)

And oh Yunyoung-ie also brought up how happy they are when they see a sea of official slogans... and hear loud fanchants... like that time at MTV The Show's recording... that's why he purposely drew something and uploaded it on the fancafe... his tears really welled up that time... he could hear us really clearly and when they looked up they saw nothing but the slogans... I was quite surprised as I thought we were sitting pretty far... the other boys said they were also really touched....

After that came some more light-hearted questions... (I'd forgotten about them last night, thank you eonnie for repeating them for me again today!) 

1. To Jaehyung: What color do you like? Ans: Black and white... but hey, don't give me just black and white letter papers! ><" (I burst out laughing at his protest... I knew his favourite color early on but nop, didn't stick to those for his letters, luckily. I thought black and white letter look too plain ugly or too formal - and I guess he thinks the same too!)

2. To Seungyeop: What is the type of girl you like?  Ans: Pretty eyes, easy-going, and kind.

3. To Hyojun: If you can use a time-machine to which period would you want to go back to? Ans: To when I was in a band in high school... (now I'm curious, what position did he play?)

4. To Yunyoung: How do you calm yourself when you get pissed off? Ans: Hmm... erm... I don't know... just... wait?? ^^;;

5: To Hyeong Kon and Seung Yeop: Are the both of you more popular among males or females? Ans (both) Females!

6. To Hyeong Kon - who would you want to be partnered up with to go on WGM? Ans: Park Bo Yeong (Well she fits his description of his 'type')       

After that, eonnie started discussing some things earnestly with Hyeong Kon and Jaehyung and I kinda lost track of what was going on as my Korean is really not up-to-par... until I heard the word "saesaeng" which I perked up at and I asked eonnie if there are A-JAX sasaeng fans in korea... and eonnie said there are PLENTY... and Jaehyung's face didn't look too good at that time... he said... he doesn't talk to them when they go wait at the company etc...  they don't cheer loudly at broadcasting stations when they come to see them.... the boys know... and... the most important thing about going to TV station in the first place is to do fanchants so... >.> I was quite surprised at how much they noticed when on-stage...  I quipped up "Jaehyung you have many fans but I think they're generally quite quiet... erm sorry I'm always super noisy... I do both solo screams and official fanchants till I ran out of breath and my voice went a bit hoarse and weird on busy weeks...haha" I'm not sure how much he understood, Yunyoung was trying to help me explain to him too... (thumbs up to you, thanks Yunyoung...!). And me and eonnie also complained about our fan manager's disappearing issue - Inkigayo and M-Countdown, she never stays to fight to allow more A-Lights to get in... I also blurted out that we tried to get in on our own but don't often succeed because we don't have someone with a fanstaff tag to back us up.... that's why fellow rookies C-Clown had so much more fans inside the studio, because their fanstaff is super-hard-working and enthusiatic while ours is... >.> it's not because there's not as many A-Lights that came, it's just that we're all stuck outside and could not get in. Hyeong Kon went "ahh... oh no... T_T  but it's on the company's end, it's not something we can do much about..." and I was thinking "ah, oh dear. Rookies are pretty powerless too huh... T_T Well so long as you know we are out there supporting you also..."

Hyeong Kon said that the company does do some good stuff.. it's trying... like today's event... it's unique right.... and eonnie burst his balloon by saying no, Boyfriend did things like that too... her friend took part.. and even had 'dates' with the members.... Hyeong Kon was super-shocked... and excited... the members were all quite excited too... haha... (Any particular fan you have in mind, boys?? Or are you so desperate to go out on a date, anyone would do, even a make-believe one? Kekeke)

Then I lost the thread of discussion again... and taotao beside me was talking earnestly to Seungyeop so I started just glancing around and Seungjin saw me so he asked me to eat more... there was some hot-dog sandwiches in front of him but I was like "it's kinda... big...." and he laughed.. well it's not that big, but who wants to eat a messy sloppy hot-dog sandwich (omg my image T_T) and waste time chewing when an idol group is there to chat with you...? So then he brought up the Simply K-pop thing... and asked if I was working for Arirang... I explained that no I'm just blogging for them.. and he clarified if it was my own blog or Arirang's blog... and I said no, it's my own... and he asked if I do for all artistes... I was like, yeah... I first found out about Simply K-pop when A-JAX went for One 4 U and that was when I saw MC Hanbyul offering the position so I took it up and hence have been with them since then.... for the last 6 months... and that recently I've been providing the writer pictures for official use too as the designated official pentapress photographer doesn't turn up for outside recordings and afternoon pre-recordings....  And he asked if I took a lot of photos at the prize presentation... that was their first award... I said I know... I did...I even caught his wink at the camera.... and that the one who did the trophy presentation... Trang ... (Seungjin knew Trang! But he didn't know whose fan she was, I had to tell him she's Hyeong Kon's...) ... I was supposed to be doing it but the managers seem a bit pissed that I was there shooting them backstage too so I declined the position and hence it went to Trang... haha. And Seungjin asked wasn't I cold at Yongpyong... I was like "of course, I nearly died!" and he's like "yeah, me too...." and I told him I knew... he was practically tearing up before the end of the first song... ^^;; Not only him but the other members too... and he was like "Really!?!?" Haha....

Seungjin also asked where my blog was... I said blogspot... he said I should use korean blogs...like naver.... promote for them...among the korean fans... I told him I blog in English... I just barely figured out how to post in fancafe recently....! All the korean is too difficult for me... Haha. But I did tell him my photos are in a click-go-in-freely photo gallery under photobucket these days so that korean fans can view them too... he still asked me to use naver... give me another year to figure it out, Seungjin-ie... T_T  you wanna try using blogspot/photobucket right now since you've studied english for more years than I've studied korean? Aiyoh....  I think along the way Yunyoung heard our discussion... he said don't just tweet them the photos... upload them... I told him I will upload in fancafe... just that... I mass-upload in fancafe and my photo gallery when I have finished a big number of photos from one event.... but it takes time as I gotta PS one-by-one... so I tweet them as I finish each one, if it's pretty... just treat it as a preview... please wait while I finish the rest... my next 1-2 months will be photo-editing all the way... and he laughed and said ok, he will wait and look forward to it.

I also took the chance to bring up the question about Osaka and Tokyo photos... can I upload them... because technically DSP Japan banned photography... but I really want to... and the boys were like... YES PLEASE UPLOAD!!! I told them I hesitated as I don't wanna get banned like the chap who took photos at Show Champion and got caught... the boys said it should be fine... ^^;; So... I'll trust them and do it soon...

And about 30 minutes later, the fanstaff came in and said they have to end soon and go for the next schedule... (the google plus+ chat session)... so...I quickly asked Jaehyung something I've been curious about - what occupation would he have gone into if he hadn't became a singer? And at first he said none, so I was quite surprised "You only wanted to become a singer all the way, nothing else?" so after thinking for a fair bit, he said "nongi, perhaps"? And of course, I didn't get it... T_T maybe I misheard and he said "yongi", ie. acting? And I asked if he is still not getting much sleep these days, he said yeah he's still lacking sleep as they gotta do various preparations, I'm like "huh, now that the goodbye stage is over, he should be more free right...?" and he's like... well, we still have other preparations.... and obviously he's not at liberty to answer and I didn't wanna bug him, so I'm just like ... "Well... try not to play so much candypang, go sleep instead when u get free time please.... your eyes are really big, and somehow when you're sleepy and looking around stoned, other fans all tell me you look scary instead.... ^^;; " ... I also added that I feel very conflicted... on one hand I wanna see their next comeback soon, but on the other hand I want the members to get more rest also... T_T

And that was about all I managed to speak to him - after that we got to take polaroids with our designated member.... *_* ... so Jaehyung put his arms around my shoulder when we took ours, I was too shy to put mine anywhere on him.... *fail* I wanted to tell him I got his signed selca... but my deaf boy heard it as I wanted him to sign our polaroid... *fail again* so ok never mind... while I dig through my phone gallery to show him the selca, I handed him my marker and he signed it for me... and I was like "hey, draw me a heart would ya?" and he just stuck it in in a strange location on top... *face palms*

After that I showed him the selca photo, he went AHHHH~~~ and I thanked him but asked him if he saw my twitter mention regarding it... he quickly said he read all of mine... so I told him then you should know I was upset because he forgot the request I made at Daejoon fansign for him to blow the camera a kiss for my selca... he just grinned innocently/embarassedly and till now I can't tell if he forgot or didn't want to do it. My boy ah... haiz. But anyway I did tell him thank you for often looking at my camera... and he just smirked/smiled a little. I also told him that his photos always turn out well because he's so good-looking... the boy just smiled knowingly, not looking the least bit embarassed... lol! So I took him down a peg or two by asking him how come his head was so big in that selca... he was pretty deaf... he heard something else... and I was like... "커! Big!" ...and he got it then quickly looked at the photo... so not bearing to hurt him too much, I told him "but it's still very cute" ^^;;



  And we could use our own cameras for the group photos... but the fan manager didn't know how to use my DSLR (though I set everything already, all she had to do was look into the viewfinder and press the shutter button, OMG), so I have to live with cellphone pictures. T_T And it turned out that we do get some phototime! THANK GOD I had semi-expected this would happen, and brought my camera along, dspboyz_eonnie was super fast and started snapping away at everyone already, so I just took individual shots of my gorgeous boy (whose eyes kept coming back to my camera... <3), a few group shots (I waited for eonnie to finish, then called "Look this way please" and they were like... "Are we at a press conference? You're like a reporter... kekeke!"), and fulfilled my another eonnie's SJ polaroid request (not familiar with a polaroid camera, I borrowed Spring_echo's, but didn't get up-close to do it, Seungjin himself saw I was too far and told me to take another one, thank you boy!) and took one of Jaehyung too, and then the boys left... too late I realised I hadn't passed Jaehyung my present (it was just a cookie jar with pineapple tarts and the photocard, omg I didn't even write anything yet coz I was trying to cough out a letter on the taxi and my pen ink refused to stay on the card and I could not managed to dig out my marker...) so I just haphazardly stuffed everything into a paper bag, ran after the boys who's already went up the steps and I could not follow, and tried to call after Jaehyung who's already went out of sight, so I had to pass it to the fan-manager - manager glared at me and I was like "SORRY! ><'' " 


YA~! Hyeong Kon-oppa, don't disturb Jaehyung-ah when he's posing for me!!

And I went back, a bit disappointed and chagrined over how haphazard my gift was and I didn't even get to pass it to him personally - frankly I thought there was going to be a lot more fans and I would have chances to plaster a few stickers on and scrawl something but omg it was so much attention from them... 6:5... that I could not discreetly touch-up my stuff at all.. so yeah back in the room, I saw that there was a big slice of the sandwich remaining... so hey, to not waste my boy's effort, I took it with me and planned to eat it on the way back... but embarassingly enough... despite me being REALLY slow, I still ran into their van coming out of the building as I was leaving... luckily I think Jaehyung was on the opposite side so he can't see me holding the coffee and sandwich? And Yunyoung was traveling in another car, he stuck his head out and waved and hollered something ... I think "see you next time"? ...... oh gosh... he's so... Nice! Cute! Exuberant! I really, really like him... he would be such a fun and interesting friend to have...



To round it up... I am really, really grateful to have had this chance...literally once-in-a-lifetime...I'll never forget this Boxing Day... and DSP has earned back lots of points in my book. And Jaehyung? I am so glad to see his more serious side...which is so rare and so different from him on-camera... lots of people who are not his fan and have met him in real-life tell me he's scary/cold to them..  and indeed I think it's something he should take note of so that he doesn't become a "I like all the members except ____" sorta member... but... his taking the initiative cutting up the sandwich into small bit-sized pieces for all of us, till his fingers hurt from struggling with the forks? (I'm sure, being the rich kid that he is, he's never had to serve others in his life, he only got served till he had to become a trainee...) Putting up with my lousy and mispronounced Korean and trying to understand it and re-assuring me he reads my letters and twits, bad korean aside? Crazy fangirling aside, I really, really appreciate this chance to glance more into his personality, though I still can't put a finger on why he seems so calm and collected around me but gets more cheerful and bubbly with some other fans and on-camera... maybe because I don't aegyo to him and usually nag him like a big sister instead? (if not, his mother... T_T) I guess he doesn't dislike me parsay, like I was afraid of when I noticed this trend, because then he would probably just ignore me, not keep glancing back at me like he did this evening... I just wonder if I was a bit too 'over' with my fangirling and blunt in my letters so I made him uncomfortable, because he could tell I am a bit (well, I admit, QUITE a bit) in love with him? Like, until I'm crossing the line of fangirling-celebrity love? Being in Korea, seeing him so often, getting to talk and interact with him, is really dangerous... T_T Not good for the heart... no wonder there are fans that act like jilted girlfriends and threaten death and all that extreme actions when their bias reveals that they are dating or are getting married... not that I'm going to do that..! I am well-aware that he's an artist and as A-JAX grows more famous, the distance between us will grow as the no. of fans grow and security gets tighter and my tweets to him gets lost in the sea of incoming tweets... and I'll probably also eventually grow out of this phrase and get attached and fall in love normally and just look back affectionately on this time and him as a dongsaeng, not a man... I don't think I'll ever let myself look at any other celebrity like that again.   

P.S. On the way back I was chatting with taotao and spring_echo about the sasaeng thing, and they said that Jaehyung seems to really really dislike them... in fact he doesn't even like fans going to wait for them at the salon...?? So his definition of 'obsession' doesn't extend to sasaeng-ing... I guess it was a very good thing my attempt to tag-along everyday, ie. sasaeng them in Japan failed then... I guess I should thank the gang for that...he glanced my way a couple of times when talking about this topic... I don't know if it's because he was just hyper-aware of me since I was his only fan there, or because he knew I was listening in, or it was a gentle warning to not do it...? Since I told him flat out I had wanted to in Japan, and that I did mention I go to the cafe that's in the same building as the salon often anyway, before A-JAX ever switched to it...  
 
(By the way, Mission "Call me Kimberly-noona!" still failed. *heads desk* I clean-forgot about it till now...)

(And oh my god... a fanaccount that took me 4+ hours to write... I think this broke my record....)
I'll put photos up later....Photos now all up!